- Each person writes down:
- How they think they could help the other person,
- How they think the other person could help them.
The hypothetical example of a manager and secretary will make this clearer.
Things I, manager, could do to help you
- Let you know where I am going when I leave the office.
- Stop giving long urgent tasks after 4pm.
Things you, secretary, could do to help me:
- Tell me what you need from me so you can give me the best help.
- Help me be more organized in my work.
Things I, secretary, could do to help you:
- Talk to other secretaries on site to see if they have good admin. ideas we could use.
- Filter your emails, deal with routine ones.
Things you, manager, could do to help me:
- Listen to me when I am overloaded.
- Help me understand your priories.
The people decide what to do.
A person may say:
- “Of course I will do as you ask”. This would be sensible if the request is easy and gives an immediate benefit.
- “I can’t do that because…” . The request might violate your values, by being (say) unethical, or it might be politically unacceptable, or take too much time.
- “I would be prepared to meet your request if you would help me with this one of mine”. The request might demand work or a change of attitude. You would both win eventually.
It helps people to follow through with their decisions if they record and preferably display their agreements.
Play the negotiation straight. If you use tactics or manipulation, then people will not use the method again. They will also become suspicious of all the management techniques you use.
Make your requests small, clear and doable. It is more useful to ask someone to say “Hello” in the morning than to “Be more considerate”.